Does housework feel like Groundhog’s Day to you? You wake up and do the same thing each day in the same order and then go to bed only to wake up and do it all again?

I feel ya. I used to think my life felt like the Sisyphus – the mythological creature that was condemned by the gods to repeatedly roll a boulder up a mountain. As soon as it reached the top, the boulder rolled back down to the bottom and Sisyphus had to begin again. Dishes continually piled up in the sink. Laundry was an endless mountain – sometimes dirty needing to be washed and sometimes clean needing to be folded, ironed and/or put away. The stairs were in perpetual need of vacuuming. The bathroom mirrors were continually marred with water spots.

I felt condemned to deal with the same tasks over and over and over, with no end in sight.

But that changed eventually as I prioritized what I actually needed to do, what was unnecessary, and what could be delegated.

Delegation. A hundred dollar word. I’m talking about little people help. Child labor laws be damned.

Just kidding. But it certainly is a viable resource that should be tapped into. Why? Because children love to be involved and be helpful. At least when they’re little and still want your attention. Trust me, it doesn’t last long so jump on that wagon quick.

Thereby my advice is to teach them when they’re interested because it’s not going to last long enough. And if you can instill in them the value and pride of taking care of their home and their belongings, you’re teaching them a lifelong lesson in addition to getting some cooperation.

So where to begin? Parents typically get stuck in the cycle of asking repeating, reminding, repeating, and then exploding. Generally kids aren’t trying to push our buttons; they just don’t have the level of respect or ownership we do when it comes to towels on the floor, shoes blocking the doorway, or dirty glasses about the house. And as much as I want to reject it – I’m told kids don’t actually see any of these things. (Seriously, the kitchen trash has now become a game of jenga. How can I be the only one who notices that?!?)

But good news — it doesn’t have to be a maddening experience with several laps of asking and being ignored. Here are five steps to get them onboard helping around the house.

Lay Out the Rules

Start by gathering everyone to discuss the current state of the house. Ask each member how they prefer the house. Clean? Organized? Tidy? Uncluttered? If the conversation is going off course with answers like I don’t care or Messy is fine by me, then play the Mom card, intervene with — well the current state is not working for me. You can add why such as – I like finding my shoes quickly when I’m ready to leave the house or It frustrates me when there are no clean glasses in the cupboard when I’m thirsty.

Then move into collaborating. Ask – so how can we get the house to be tidy and organized more often? Let them brainstorm. They’re more likely to contribute if they feel like they’re part of the process.

At that point, start jotting down ideas and formulate a simple plan that can be implemented quickly and easily. Keep in mind, their level of contribution may not be identical to yours so try to manage your expectations. But start where you can and build from there.

Build a Routine

Once you have some chores created, assign them. It’s best if each member can choose how they’d like to contribute but not always how it turns out. Assigning it makes them accountable. It’s now their responsibility.

They also need to define what completing the chore is and its frequency. Don’t have a vague chore like – feed the dog. It should be feed the dog at 8am and 5pm 1 cup dry dog food, 1 packet moist food and 1 dog treat. Fill the water dish with fresh water and clean the moist food dish prior to feeding. This way there’s no misunderstanding what the expectation is. It also prevents you following behind doing the real chore while the child takes away a false sense of pride and accomplishment and gains nothing.

Use reminders, Post-It notes, Alexa reminders, whatever works for your family as cues to follow through with tasks. A centralized chore chart is a very useful tool. The child can also check off when the chore is completed.

Follow Through

You also need to explain the actions that will be taken if a child slips up which is inevitable. Two things are likely to happen. 1. The task is forgotten or 2. the task is poorly done. Neither is acceptable so you need to follow through with making sure the task is done to the expectations agreed upon earlier as well as a small reminder that it’s important to follow through with obligations such as the loss of a favorite object for a brief amount of time or an additional chore.

Set Them Up For Success

Besides setting up a reminder system and clearly stating expectations, set them up for success by walking them through the task by having them watch you the first time and then attempt on their own with your help. They’ll develop confidence they’re capable and more likely to follow through if they know what to do and expect.

Also make the chore as simplistic as possible. Complications will only hinder the chances of it getting completed. So make sure the dog food is in easy reach, a measuring scoop is clearly marked and designated for the dog food, the water can be easily refilled without creating puddles.

Recognize Them For Their Help

I’m careful to note “recognize” and not “reward”. Recognition can build self esteem and show how much their contribution is valued. Reward implies they aren’t responsible for the task and instead they’re being compensated to do it. The two are very different and send different messages to the child.

On the same token, just because it’s the child’s responsibility doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be acknowledged. Especially if you want the behavior to continue. A little positive reinforcement can go a very long way.