Have you ever stared down an opportunity that sparks interest but at the same time paralyzes you with fear? Things like entering a talent contest, traveling to a foreign city or joining a new social club? The mere thought causes a slight panic, your heart rate quickens, a shiver goes down your spine and you feel a light sweat. Those are probably indicators that you should do it.

Why? Because some of the most terrifying things we’ll ever do will also be the most rewarding. Lucille Ball said “I’d rather regret the things I have done than the things I haven’t done.”

I wholly agree.

Let me back up. I’m not talking about life-threatening fear such as rock-climbing without safety equipment or illegal activity like income tax evasion. Both of those could result in very severe consequences. I’m talking about internal fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of change, fear of failure, fear of rejection. Imagined fear.

THE MOMENT IT ALL CHANGED FOR ME

Wearing snorkeling gear, I was standing on the edge of a boat off the coast of Cabo San Lucas. This unfortunately wasn’t a beach-entry snorkeling excursion. Jumping from the boat was the only water entry option. As other snorkelers (some as young as 6 years old) unflinchingly leapt in, I continued to watch with apprehension.

I peered over the edge and wondered what was below the surface? Was it 10 feet or 100 feet deep? Was it barren or filled with colorful coral and fishy delights? Was I going to jump on something scary or dangerous? Was the water going to be cold? Or slimy? Or briny? Or…? I had major anxiety standing on that ledge.

And then I told myself — just jump.

And before I could talk myself out of it, jump I did. Because if I didn’t, why else was I there? I had come to snorkel. I enjoyed snorkeling. Snorkeling is a wonderful, explorative experience. But I first had to force myself out of that catatonic state by making my feet leave the security of the boat.

As I broke the water surface, I gasped, surveyed my surroundings and — it wasn’t bad. In fact, it was exhilarating. Especially once I realized, I was going to be ok. All regret and trepidation quickly faded away and I was embarking on what would be another memorable experience. There wasn’t anything in that water that was going to irreparably harm me. Even if I cut my foot on coral, got stung by a jellyfish, or lost my swimsuit bottom when climbing back on the boat; all of it was survivable.

But standing on the edge being indecisive and paralyzed by fear, was without question, detrimental to my well-being and personal growth.

And that I couldn’t tolerate.

FEAR IS OPPORTUNITY

Simply put, I feared the unknown. I didn’t know what was about to happen next except I had to exchange my current safe, comfortable situation for it. My snorkeling experience could have been incredible, mediocre, or riddled with injury & trauma. The last one was unlikely; like I said 6 year olds were jumping in the water. But no matter what, I was going to have an experience.

“I told myself – just jump“

And that’s what I wanted in my life. Experiences. Both good and bad. Because that’s the human condition. We have to experience the bad to recognize and appreciate the good. Our current situation can be good, bad or meh. But it’s always familiar. It’s comfortable and makes us feel safe. But it’s also static and debilitating and we will never experience anything new.

But when we move out of our comfort zone and experience the unfamiliar, something amazing happens – we grow. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, intellectually, physically. And personal growth is important, if not crucial.

WELCOME FEAR

I underestimated how much of my fear was imagined, so I gave it too much power. Underlying objectless fear turns into chronic anxiety, thus I needed to face it. I realized it could either launch me to the next level or lock me into complacency.

So I had to learn to not only allow fear but actually welcome it. I do a quick assessment of my situation. What is the inherent risk? What do I get? What do I forego? Which can I live with? I try to side with the less cautious choice, mentally reassure myself and then plunge into it without overanalyzing it. Or else I’ll be standing on the edge of the boat again, paralyzed with indecision and…FEAR.

I recommend everyone to do the same. Determine what your level of risk is, then ask yourself if you can push yourself to that next level. What might you gain? What will you forego by never attempting? What is the worse possible outcome and if it were to happen, can you live with it?

What could be hard for one person may be easy for another. One is a growth experience, the other is a typical Tuesday. But we have to move our needle because homeostasis causes atrophy. And atrophy is the opposite of growth; it’s the breakdown. It’s dying.

I know many people who never venture outside of their comfort zone. In fact some of my most innocent inquiries have been met with a wide-eyed-truly-don’t-understand-why-I’d-make-such-a-suggestion stare, that I’m quickly reminded to stay in my lane. And I do but I can’t help but wonder if they realize the fascinating opportunities they’re foregoing in the name of perceived safety and complacency.

FEAR IS SURVIVABLE

How often has something that at the time seemed absolutely devastating turned out to be the change we actually needed? Examples such as job loss, relationship breakup, sports injury, passed over promotion? Things that we didn’t think we’d recover from much less would it put us on a better path.

An unknown situation is unfamiliar, so we’re not confident we can handle whatever that ends up being. But when we completely avoid our fears, we teach our amygdala (the fear center in our brain) that we can’t handle our fears. So embracing those somewhat scary situations are actually an opportunity for several things; proving to ourself we are stronger than we realize, opening ourself to new possibilities, and believing we will survive unfamiliar circumstances.

So when you feel that bolt of electricity shoot up your spine, it’s probably a sign you should do it. You’re about to create another ripple in your homeostasis, expand outside your comfort zone and most importantly — grow.

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